Tag Archives: hubby

The Baby Talk!

As people around me are having babies, the idea of babies and pregnancy are on mind. I always knew I wanted to be a mother…I feel that I have very strong mothering instinct and am very caring. Hubby thinks we are too young to even thing about babies (I am 25.5 years and Hubby is turning 28 next month). Hubby thinks that babies bring way too much responsibility  and we are not ready for it.  My mother had me when she was 24. As far as I know, mother-in-law also got pregnant quite young (early 20s). I know that a woman’s fertility goes down by the time she is 27.

If we really want to be settled in life, buy a house, have stable careers, I don’t see us having children till our mid thirties.  I know there are loads of options available for women who want to have children later in life after they have sorted out their career. How old is too old to have a baby? Also, the financial cost is probably really high.

I also know the literature that says getting pregnant later in life is much much riskier, both for the mother and the child.  A friend of mine just have her baby and she is 35. She had a very difficult pregnancy, had a C-section, very difficult time recovering.  Her husband and she had quite a difficult time adjusting to the baby. Her husband is 37. Is there really a biological clock and is it ticking? Is it easier to adjust and make space for baby when we are young?

Ideally I would want a baby in my life in 3-4 years whereas Hubby wants us to wait at least a few more years than that. I know my parents and Hubby’s mom expect us to have a baby, though I have no family pressure (yet).

What are your thoughts on babies? Is there are a right time have babies?

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This will be a very whiny post

I haven’t written anything a while…usually I find solace in writing. Writing is an escape. But this last month has been quite tough on me since hubby left. It’s been exactly one month.  Winter is here–shorter days, less sunlight, strained long distance relationship (hubby wants me to take any job available, I am being a bit snobby), being alone (without family), financial worries, visa/immigration troubles, being unemployed…all of these things have finally brought me down. I have no desire to be social…I am avoiding most of my friends…talking with hubby has become very un-entertaining and often leading to fights. I am eating lots and LOTS. I have put on 3 kgs since October. I don’t if I am going through the blues or is this side-effects of being unemployed. I feel like I am in a rut. I need to get out of this. I really want this year to be over. I think it was been a bad year for me. Hubby and I only saw each other for 2 months this year. I haven’t seen any of my family this year. I graduated and still have no job. I haven’t left Ontario this year. I have technically accomplished nothing this year.

I really hope something changes soon. I am secretly hoping that part one of my immigration doesn’t go through, then I can just leave. Technically, I can’t leave since my passport is with the Canadian Consulate in the US. I wonder when I will get it back?

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Hubby is leaving tomorrow 😦

We spent most of today fighting…which has kinda become customary for us. Every time hubby goes away (which has happened twice before), we fight. We fight about stupid things. We fight about things that don’t really even care about. I think we fight just so that we won’t be sad about impending doom.  I am already struggling with that…becoming teary eyed at random intervals.

We are spending the day preparing to send off hubby away…doing laundry, updating hubby iphone ( he synchronizes his music library to my itunes, copying TV shows and movies from each other’s computers, sorting paper work etc. Being a good wife that I am, I have decided to make  him a beef curry to take with him.  I have to freeze it and then wrap it really well for him to take.

I don’t think I will see hubby in six months…though I am planning a secret mini surprise trip. Let’s see how that works out. I think I will probably miss hubby more this time around. We have never spent this much time together. Me being under-employed and he on vacation meant that we pretty much spent 24/7 together. We spent this much time together without any major issues. Phew! I can gladly say that we will be able to spend our time with relative easiness when we are all old and wrinkly.

~Bou