Category Archives: Life

Show me some love

So my last post was about make-up, especially Kohl. This week I am continuing in the same direction. As I finished my Masters last year, I had a lot of free time and started to explore make-up more. I became fascinated with a day a colour can change one’s face. I love the way how colours play up one’s eyes, can make your eyes stand out, make them bigger etc. Yes! You can probably tell I love eye make-up. I think my eyes are my best feature, and I love dressing them up.

So here is a chance for you to help continue my love affair with make-up and see some exclusive pictures on me. I have entered a contest on smashbox with my video. If I am on the top votes list by Monday, I will get a year of free make-up from smashbox. You can check out my  video here,  and vote for me. You can also use the link here:

http://bbcreamapp.smashbox.com/video/80

Please vote me and share with your family and friends! Please show me some love. I need it 😀

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The lady who taught us to cook

Today started off with a bad news. I found out that Siddqua Kabir passed away. She is the women behind the most well known and widely published Bangladeshi cook book,  Ranna Khaddo Pushti ( Cooking,Food, Nutrition).  Almost every expat Bangladeshi has this book.

I remember my mother leafing through this book when I was a child. My mother loves to cook and every so often she would open the book and read the recipes. I remembering spending many hot and sweaty summer afternoon with my mother deciding on which recipe to try out. My mother had the older version of the book.  She actually had to go and buy a second copy of the cook as the first one she owned was so worn out from use. I loved how the book was dedicated to the malnourished children of Bangladesh. This book had over thousands of recipes. From Bangladeshi regular food to special occasion food, Chinese, Italian, Russian, baking etc. This is the go-to book for cooking.

My used this book when I cooked for the first time. I made Shahi Tukrey when I was 12 or 13.  I got a copy of this book when I came to Canada in 2009. My mom got me the newer version of book.  After she got me the book, she kept on coming to my room and comparing her book to mine.  She realized mine had more recipes than hers. I think, after I left Bangladesh, she ended up getting a copy of the new book as well.

The newer version was printed in a better quality of paper, and included a few recipes that incorporated microwave cooking.  I use this book when I am cooking a lot. It literally lives next to my stove. I love how the book gives you a simple and basic recipe for everything.

Siddiqua Kabir also has a very popular cooking show in Bangladesh. I enjoyed watching her on TV. She had a no non-sense attitude towards cooking and always gave information about nutrition. In the recent episodes, I noticed how she would sit down while cooking. I never realized how old she has gotten. To me, she was a timeless woman. I always expected her to be around teaching us how to cook.  I am quite sad to find out that she passed away….I know she will be deeply missed by millions of Bangladeshis all around the world.

I hate exercise….

Yes! I really do…I hate it with a passion. I explored how I got in shape and lost weight with Bikram Yoga.Who wants to exercise when you can curl up with a nice book or a nice movie?  Who really wants to exercise when you can dive into a  molten chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice-cream?  I always quit once I was near or on my goal weight. 

Keeping that in mind, I am on a 21 day challenge of doing Bikram Yoga everyday for 21 days. Why 21 days? They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. And I have attempted to start 30 day challenges only to fail. 21 days seem much more manageable. Today is day 7! I have noticed a change in my attitude about going to class. Even on day 3 and day 4, I would sit in the bus and think that I could just keep on ride and go back home. Who wants to go to class? It will make me drench with sweat. It will make me obligated to wash my hair (washing my hair everyday makes it so dry and frizzy),  make me obligated to wash my exercise clothes my hand (my apartment has coin operated machines, so it would be stupid to wash a piece or two every day), make me just gross and icky. Yet, I forced myself to walk into the studio and into the class.

Yesterday, I noticed a change within me. I was almost in a zen state even before I got to class. I didn’t have the thoughts of skipping class. I accepted that I have to get to class and I did the best I could in class.

I am also tracking my weight/measurements for the 21 day challenge. I am 5’4”, and here are the result after six classes:

Starting Weight (SW): 142 lbs

Current Weight (CW): 140.5 lbs (BMI 24.1)

Mini Goal Weight: 135 lbs

Overall Goal Weight: 130 lbs

**I will post my measurements once there is a significant change 😛

________

Now I gotta go and take out mu bikram clothes of the washer and put them in the dryer. Have a wonderful Sunday!

The Baby Talk!

As people around me are having babies, the idea of babies and pregnancy are on mind. I always knew I wanted to be a mother…I feel that I have very strong mothering instinct and am very caring. Hubby thinks we are too young to even thing about babies (I am 25.5 years and Hubby is turning 28 next month). Hubby thinks that babies bring way too much responsibility  and we are not ready for it.  My mother had me when she was 24. As far as I know, mother-in-law also got pregnant quite young (early 20s). I know that a woman’s fertility goes down by the time she is 27.

If we really want to be settled in life, buy a house, have stable careers, I don’t see us having children till our mid thirties.  I know there are loads of options available for women who want to have children later in life after they have sorted out their career. How old is too old to have a baby? Also, the financial cost is probably really high.

I also know the literature that says getting pregnant later in life is much much riskier, both for the mother and the child.  A friend of mine just have her baby and she is 35. She had a very difficult pregnancy, had a C-section, very difficult time recovering.  Her husband and she had quite a difficult time adjusting to the baby. Her husband is 37. Is there really a biological clock and is it ticking? Is it easier to adjust and make space for baby when we are young?

Ideally I would want a baby in my life in 3-4 years whereas Hubby wants us to wait at least a few more years than that. I know my parents and Hubby’s mom expect us to have a baby, though I have no family pressure (yet).

What are your thoughts on babies? Is there are a right time have babies?

Affirmations

I hate how really  small things can really throw me over the edge now. Yikes! I need to be emotionally more stable and calm. I need to calm down. I need to learn how to breathe and be in the moment. I need to believe. I need to trust. I need to be patient. I really need to work on patience. I want everything now and  just the way I like it. I really need to realize I have to work hard for the things I want. It is not going to be handed to me on a silver platter!

People say Bikram Yoga changed their lives. I am on a 21 day challenge where I plan on going everyday (today is day 4).  I felt the change within me yesterday.I was just having a crazy wacky day. I heard some bad news and felt awful. I was in a bad mood, and just feeling very anxious and nervous.  I forced myself to walk into class even though I dreaded it.  But that 90 mins of being present in the moment, and looking at myself really helped. I walked out of class relaxed and just happier.

I hope Bikram Yoga can continue to humble me.  Even though my main motivation for doing Bikram yoga is weight loss and getting physically fit, I look forward to accepting all the other benefits that come with it.

 

What’s in a name?

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while. Why did I decide to call myself a bou/wife in this blog?

After I got married, I did not take Hubby last name. I am deeply connected to my own name. My first name has a part of my dad’s name, and my last name is my mom’s first name. In essence, I have two first names (SS). It is very musical name :D. That is my formal name (bhalo naam). I also have a nickname (daak naam).  Those who have read The Namesake  by Jhumpa Lahiri know what I am talking about. My daak naam is a very Bengali and translates to Rainy Season in English. I was born in during the monsoon season and my name signifies that.  My daak naam is used by my family, family friends, friends from my childhood.  Most of the time now, when I introduce myself I use my bhalo naam.  Even though hubby uses my daak naam , I call him using his bhalo naam (I should really change into using his daak naam).

After I got married people who call hubby Bhai (A respectable term, refers to being an older brother…in Bengali culture we usually don’t refer to people with just their names as it is disrespectful if they are older than you) started calling me Bhabi   (Bhai’s wife). People who started to call me Bhabi included my brother-in-law, and hubby’s friends. To my brother-in-law, I asked him to call me apu (older sister). My brother calls me apu  and I consider my brother-in-law as my own brother. Using a term like bhabi reinforces the fact I am connected to him by marriage, not by blood. I really don’t want to differentiate between him and my brother. So I prefer that he calls me Apu. 

To Hubby’s friends, I always remind them to call me by my name (as most are older than me and some are my age). I want to reinforce that I have my own identity. By allowing myself to be a bhabi, I feel like I exist because there is a bhai or hubby.  Whenever I am introduced to new people as bhabi,  I always take a stand and correct people. This is, I guess, taking a feminist stand  (in my mind).

Considering the fact that I do not like being called a Bhabi, why am I calling myself a Bou (wife) in this blog?

I have spent the last 11 years of my life outside Bangladesh and only had very limited interaction with Bangladeshis. When I married a Bangladeshi guy, my connection to my homeland, my culture and my heritage was reinforced. Becoming a wife allowed me to connect to my culture in different ways. Becoming a wife has also changed me for the better. Becoming a wife has made me very happy as I found an amazing life partner. Being a wife has also become a large part of identity. I know there are certain things I will not do because  I am a bou and I know there are things I will do because I am. My relationship with parents have changed because I am married.  I have learned to understand life differently since I got married.  To appreciate all of those things, I decided call myself a bou as how and what I write about is effected  by my marital status.

Hair

I didn’t realize how long my hair had grown until my cousin uploaded a picture of me taken last weekend. Considering I never spent that much time on my appearance when I was young/teenage…most of the time I had really short hair or bad hair. As I am getting older, I realize that the genes are really not on my side. Both my parents have lost most of their hair in their early 30s, so I started to take care of my hair. Avoiding heat products, conditioning it, and just taking care of it. I know compared to other people my hair isn’t that long, but this is the longest I have ever had it.

Now that my hair is this long, I have a crazy idea to put red streaks on my hair. Not the bright red, but more of a brownish red. I talked to my stylist, she told me that as my hair is jet black she would have to bleach it first and then put the color in. I am quite worried about damaging my hair.  To all the dark haired girls, did you ever bleach your hair? What was your experience with it?