The Baby Talk!

As people around me are having babies, the idea of babies and pregnancy are on mind. I always knew I wanted to be a mother…I feel that I have very strong mothering instinct and am very caring. Hubby thinks we are too young to even thing about babies (I am 25.5 years and Hubby is turning 28 next month). Hubby thinks that babies bring way too much responsibility  and we are not ready for it.  My mother had me when she was 24. As far as I know, mother-in-law also got pregnant quite young (early 20s). I know that a woman’s fertility goes down by the time she is 27.

If we really want to be settled in life, buy a house, have stable careers, I don’t see us having children till our mid thirties.  I know there are loads of options available for women who want to have children later in life after they have sorted out their career. How old is too old to have a baby? Also, the financial cost is probably really high.

I also know the literature that says getting pregnant later in life is much much riskier, both for the mother and the child.  A friend of mine just have her baby and she is 35. She had a very difficult pregnancy, had a C-section, very difficult time recovering.  Her husband and she had quite a difficult time adjusting to the baby. Her husband is 37. Is there really a biological clock and is it ticking? Is it easier to adjust and make space for baby when we are young?

Ideally I would want a baby in my life in 3-4 years whereas Hubby wants us to wait at least a few more years than that. I know my parents and Hubby’s mom expect us to have a baby, though I have no family pressure (yet).

What are your thoughts on babies? Is there are a right time have babies?


5 responses to “The Baby Talk!

  1. i like that the wheels are turning and you’r investigating :). that’s very wise. sounds like you’ve done your research (which is refreshing). you are correct that a woman’s fertility begins to decline in her 20s and more with each year. but truthfully – every woman is different – some may see more of a decline – other may be very fertile for a long time.

    your friend who had a difficult pregnancy – it may not have been simply because of her age. there are many, many factors that go in to having a healthy pregnancy – genetics, exercise, diet, etc.

    the number one thing that helped me decide if we were ‘ready’ for each of our pregnancies (currently prego with 5th) is knowing that my husband was on board with helping. i did not want to be the married single mother – you know what i mean? doing everything by myself?

    our first kid was a big adjustment for both of us ironing out how each of us would contribute in caring for our baby. i’m very relieved to say that my husband has come a long way and is very willing to help whenever needed. – whether it is with the children or house.

    anyways – it is clear that as you keep asking questions and researching and speaking with your husband – you two will find a time right for your family. good luck!

  2. I think everyone has different ideas on when to have a baby. For me one should be mentally, physically , emotionally and finacially ready to have a baby
    That is what we r doing. I got married 6months ago and we want to settle before we r going to try for baby. We have list of things we want to do before baby. If we r lucky things will happen as planned.

  3. The advice I have always been given is that there is no “right” time to have a baby and if you wait for that time it will never happen. It will always be a scary (but exciting!) decision. Don’t worry – you are still young and have plenty of time!! And for old women like me (age 30), it is encouraging to see that the rates of women over 40 giving birth has tripled in the past 20 years 🙂

  4. I am in no position to help here but I think if we must atleast wait till we know they baby’s future is secure. Which is of utmost importance. But wait, fertility goes down by 27?!! Really? :O I was hoping to be married at 27 and having a baby by 28 :/ oh dear me!

  5. My two cents, if I may. There IS a ‘right’ time to have a baby. That right time is decided by you and your spouse. Everyone has a right time, just that the definition of a right time differs from couple to couple. So take your time, talk it over and do it when both of your are ready.

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