unnecessary argument

I was talking to my husband on skype tonight. For some reason, I became very sulky. Then he asked me a very important question.  I always ask for more but what have I actually given him? I feel awful! I am so needy in our relationship. I don’t think I have done anything to make his life any better. Nothing!

It all began when I asked him if you could get anything in life (you know like a wish), what would he ask for? He said that he would go back to his college years. Then I said I wouldn’t be a part of his life then. He said may be.MAY BE! Seriously???

That really pissed me off. Seriously! I hate how he can imagine/re-imagine his life without me. I just can’t do that. As much as I HATE long distance, I do it because I can’t imagine my life without him.  I hate how unemotional he can be (I think he can be a Vulcan easily). Perhaps he has had a very tough life (losing his father when he was 14 and drastically unstable life because of that), he has seen how tough life can be. Life is still roses and peaches for me. I have never had to struggle that much. Come to think of it…not at all. I want life to be filled with love and laughter, ponies and sugars!

Am I giving too much of myself in this relationship? Should I be able to re-imagine my life without him?

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3 responses to “unnecessary argument

  1. I doubt he thought about that the way you did. Here the TV is flooded with commercials about how your college friends are always there for you and such. They really are taught and it’s reinforced how great life was in college because they were free from any responsibility. They aren’t raised to be responsible, they are raised to be kids ….forever it seems lol. But then they grow up and marriage and life is thrust at them and they are just expected to adjust with no one to teach them how to do it. He probably just meant he wished his life was simple or easy like those days. Now he has to live so far from you and that is hard and maybe he doesn’t know how to make you happy and doesn’t feel like he’s making you happy. That causes a huge amount of stress.

    Marriage isn’t about give and give or who’s giving more. Marriage is about two people working together to have a decent life without having to be alone. You can’t be happy all the time, but in waiting and working for some things you will be happier overall than someone who isn’t married and doesn’t have the fulfillment that marriage and relationships bring. I’m sure you also do more for him than you realize.

    Also, during long distance relationships these arguments happen. You find yourself fighting over the smallest things and you don’t even know why. It’s from the frustration of missing each other.

    • Bhabi, thanks so much for your wise words. Sometimes it is great and necessary to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In many ways our long distance helps us fulfill our dreams and hopefully work towards creating a better life. Sometimes I forget that. Thanks for reminding me!

  2. I think he misses you. Long distance can be frustrating at times no matter how much you love each other. I think what he is trying to say is, its not worth (at times) living apart. You are not single and yet you are single. If it was college days, with no commitments at least he could have had fun with whoever he wants but its not an option no more. Btw, he is just being sarcastic about the situation, so don’t take it in a negative way.

    Guys are not articulate about emotions the way girls are, no matter how straightforward they are. So they find totally strange ways to express them.

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