Monthly Archives: October 2011

Following up

Following up from my last post:

Hubby and I had a long chat today. We discussed how we did not want a traditional Bangladeshi marriage where dreams are squashed, where women are not given enough respect and/or economic power. We also discussed how we would be honest with each other. I don’t think I would too happy in a traditional marriage (because of my international upbringing, liberal arts education and in general a rebellious attitude). With all of these aspirations of a having a different type of marriage comes the predicaments like the one last night. Hubby is honest…brutally honest at times. I wish at times he would say things that would please me. But I know that’s not him…that’s not his nature. As much as I want/hope/wish, he would change, I know that marriage is a journey and no one is perfect. I think/know that hubby hopes that I become less emotionally vulnerable and clingy.

On a happier note:

Hubby come back home on Saturday. For a month! Can’t wait for him to be back. He has requested that I treat him with loads of home-cooked meals. I can’t wait to get back in the kitchen and cook regularly. Cooking for one is no fun at all. I have already made some gajar ka halwa and kulfi, and froze them in anticipation (I gave the links for recipes I followed, and these are pretty great recipes). I also made salmon kebabs and shami kababs. These freeze really well and are great for snacks. For hubby’s welcome home meal, I have decided to make pomfret fry, tilapia curry with cauliflower,potatoes and peas (it’s a very Bengali dish), beef bhuna, daal (prepared in a thin manner-Bangladeshi style),   alu bhaja (thinly cut fried potatoes). All of these dishes will go really well with plain Basmati Rice. I will upload pictures and recipes soon!


unnecessary argument

I was talking to my husband on skype tonight. For some reason, I became very sulky. Then he asked me a very important question.  I always ask for more but what have I actually given him? I feel awful! I am so needy in our relationship. I don’t think I have done anything to make his life any better. Nothing!

It all began when I asked him if you could get anything in life (you know like a wish), what would he ask for? He said that he would go back to his college years. Then I said I wouldn’t be a part of his life then. He said may be.MAY BE! Seriously???

That really pissed me off. Seriously! I hate how he can imagine/re-imagine his life without me. I just can’t do that. As much as I HATE long distance, I do it because I can’t imagine my life without him.  I hate how unemotional he can be (I think he can be a Vulcan easily). Perhaps he has had a very tough life (losing his father when he was 14 and drastically unstable life because of that), he has seen how tough life can be. Life is still roses and peaches for me. I have never had to struggle that much. Come to think of it…not at all. I want life to be filled with love and laughter, ponies and sugars!

Am I giving too much of myself in this relationship? Should I be able to re-imagine my life without him?

Hello world!

I decided not the change the title of this post since I am literally saying hello to the world (well, to a small community in the blogging world).  As I finished my MA a few months ago and ended up having a lot of free time (living by myself because of a long distance relationship and part time employment), I started to read loads of blogs on relationships, on food, on recipes, on just random stuff.  I was quite intrigued and mesmerized by the idea of having an online community. So, here I will be treading the waters now!

So here is snippet of my life:

I am in mid-twenties from a country in South Asia but living in Canada now.  I have two MAs and underemployed. One husband. No kids (yet). My family lives back home. My husband works in West Africa.

I love to read, to write and of course to cook! I hope to share some recipes and pictures soon! I have lived in Southern and Western Africa and the US. I try to think of myself a global citizen.  But my husband jokingly calls me a even more confused ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) since I don’t fit in anywhere. This years marks the tenth anniversary of me being an expat. In a sense, I am writing to make sense of my identity, my national ties and my citizenship too.

With the promise to write often, good night world!